Nor Azmira Abu Bakar (29/10/1983 - 2/7/2018)

My week started with a busy schedule on Monday. I had meeting in the morning for a conference to be held on Wednesday, and I needed to attend an event called Appreciation Day cum Education Faculty assembly at night. Nonetheless, I got a call from a dear friend, Angah Ija, saying that another dear friend, Ajie, passed away at exactly 4.00pm. Both Angah and Ajie are in my circle of BFFs since secondary school. We knew each other since primary school, but we only got really close when we entered secondary school.

Angah called – literally crying – telling me Ajie passed away. I got numb then and there. I cut the line and sat for a while. I think, I was gathering some courage. Like literally gathering strength to inhale and exhale. Ajie passing away was something I expected. She was battling cancer since few years ago. The chemo didn’t go well with her – or perhaps she didn’t go well with the chemo – either way. She was bedridden since 3 months ago and her mum, Cik Mus has been taking care of her ever since. Seeing Cik Mus taking care of Ajie was heartbreaking. True power of a mother’s love.

Eventually I took Angah back to our kampong in Negeri Sembilan. We only reached Jelai at about 10.++pm, and the burial was over. Everybody was on their way to head back home. Angah and I stayed at Ajie’s grave for a while. We talked to Ajie. I think that was the sincerest words I have ever uttered in my whole life. So far, there’s no death that ever got so close to me. Not until this. I couldn’t touch her grave; even the woods which are the temporary tombstones. For the first time, I shed some tears for Ajie – I never did before, because I want her to see only strengths around her.

Battling cancer, Ajie taught us courage. Bravery to live with parasites within you and keep smiling, come what may. She taught us to be thankful. Be thankful with what you have, who you have, when you have. She taught us to be patient. Patience is a virtue. Not a mere quality, but a virtue which is accompanied by redha. Pleased with Allah’s qada’ and qadr. She taught us – me – those, and so much more.

Talking with Cik Mus broke my heart. Talking with Fekh (Ajie’s hubby; a classmate as well) broke my heart even more. Talking to Maiyah and Zara (Ajie’s two angels) shattered the last piece of whatever that’s left. Til today, I cannot post a single word about Ajie on social media. I don’t want to gain as much “Like” or “Comment” on my posts by using Ajie’s name. I would feel guilty towards her. I’m posting here because I’m sure; none of my friends read this.

Do I miss Ajie? NOPE.

I don’t miss her at all. I know she is now in good hands. She is resting. I always pray that Allah would ease her session with Munkar and Nakir. I pray Allah make her grave spacious. I pray Allah allows her to visit others in the grave world. I pray, if Ajie ever sees me, she would pray for me too. Damn. I miss her.

Rest, Ajie.

Doakan aku, tau.

Kau selamanya Ajie untuk aku. Aku takkan panggil kau ‘arwah’.

Kau kuat. Lebih kuat dari kitorang.

Sebab tu Allah pilih kau. Pilih Cik Mus. Pilih Fekh.

Doakan aku, Ajie. Dan kawan² kita. Doakan, tau.

stumbled. hahah!

bismillah..

despite my will to write eagerly, i still got stuck. my last post was over a year ago and my, my - what an endeavor! alhamdulillah, i graduated (at last) with master of applied linguistics by research. it was fun, i have to say. there was nothing stressful about doing the thesis - zilch. my supervisor was extremely helpful - she stayed with me until the very end - just a bit sad that she didn't attend my convocation because she didn't get any information regarding my convocation. but then, we met up soon afterwards - and i'm glad Allah destined me to study with her throughout my master's degree. adorable as she is; may Allah bless your kind soul, PM Dr. Saidatul Akmar Zainal Abidin of APB UiTM.

back at work, i'm doing a bit good. now that master's has completed, i'm fully teaching degree students. i do enjoy teaching the diploma. they are somewhat like matured kids, no offense. still very clingy to friends, love to sleep a little bit too much and have tendency of becoming a little narrow-minded. in a way, they are like kids who stays in their happy world, not much to think of about the real life situation. hence their dependency on mobile phones. ALAS, look at it this way - since they are still growing up (their mind and thinking, i mean; not physical) thus i can play many roles in influencing them to do good, be better (not like me, but be better), achieve goals, focus on life aims and ambitions, and build up personality.

"young age is the time to make habit as your flesh-and-blood"

~ ustaz amal, n.d. (quoted from his sermon during a liqa' session)

today marks the duration of one month i am being appointed as the head of programme for tesl studies in my department. i am held responsible to Diploma in TESL as well as B. Ed. TESL (Hons) with Multimedia programmes. i am still catching up because i have not held any posts for quite a long time. now i need to patch things up, saddle up my horses, put on my boots and insyaAllah gallop my field.

not so much going on at home.

isaac loves to bully alex loves to bully edwin loves to bully mama.

the cycle goes on and on and on.

i hope i will be more diligent at writing.

hahah.

dem, i stumbled.

cafe mak dan ayah, kuis

bismillah...

as soon as you step into kuis, the first thing you'd notice would be the lake. kuis' lake is as the Malay saying: saujana mata memandang (choi sangat 😁) but not too broad. it is just nice, somehow breathtaking, calming at the same moment. looking straight, you'd see the qalbu of kuis: masjid al-azhar. and of course, you cannot miss the cafeterias just beside the lake, on your right-hand side.

dubbed as Cafe Langsir, the first cafe offers variety of food to choose from. aigoo, I haven't tasted everything til today - roti canai varieties, laksa, nasi ayam berempah, u name it. (plus, kak tini offers an exquisite sambal belacan served in pestle-and-mortar: u just need to request from her, if it hasn't finished yet) (wajiaq, terliuq laa ni jugak eyh). oh, it is called Langsir because the decoration is laden with curtains n roundtables, u feel like eating at your home-kithen.

next to Langsir is Cafe Mak n Ayah. simply because the vendor preparing food calls themselves as 'mak' n 'ayah' to everyone. yes, I typed correctly, everyone. students, staffs, visitors, even pak guards. haaaaa, this one is even more parah. it is like eating your mum's cooking - not too delish, but not tasting bad at all. somehow you just find accessories to decorate your plate and eat your heart out. paaaaaling wajiaq would be, Teh o ais depa, RM0.50. ikr, *eyes rolling*

in short, these cafes are main source of food-hunt, as of yet. I'll search for more in future. 😘

Perhimpunan Fakulti Pendidikan, KUIS - picking up pebbles

bismillah..

just got home after attending Perhimpunan Fakulti Pendidikan (+ closing ceremony of EduFest). bravo to the organising committee. i see some talents really sprouting in these students.

 some of the VIPs

simple backdrop,  enough for tonight

tentative was  quite heavy, scheduled to end at 11pm. but ended up to finish at 11.30pm. =.( there were performances, from nasyid to pop-singer; prize-giving ceremony and speeches too.

paling terharu, (if i may say) was to see the champion of choral speaking. it was the essence of team-work that got these people winning. (i'll try uploading the videos, someday, somehow). of course, there are a lot to learn, and i believe there are rooms for improvement. i tell u, if i were in that team, sumpah i'll bring about wackier ideas to ensure teslians really blow up audi =)

choral speaking winning team, TESL 2 B

alhamdulillah, tu lah masalah problemnye (see the double-negatives???). i have soooo many wacky ideas cracking my head (alhamdulillah.. ilham tu semua dariNya) and sometimes i have troubles sleeping at night because i cant stop thinking. thus, i always have note book n pen near me to scribble these ideas. sometimes when i just cant hold it anymore (there are times when the ideas come bursting like a dam broken) i'll just record my own voice sebab nak tulis tak sempat dah! =)

hence, here i am picking up pebbles, to be made the nicest ornament suiting my soul. if it were to be silky and tender, i shall place it on my heart's shoulder. if it were to be hard and crooked, may He ease it so as to not hurt.

to sum up, life as a student is a blissful one. cherish, while u still can.

malam ini, #tesl yang punya =)

is it done yet?

where should i start??

welcome back, me..
what's been up?

i'm currently struggling to finish up my thesis writing, along with carrying tis lil munchkin in me. i do not know whether it's a boy or a girl, i only hope the baby's is fine, alhamdulillah.

syukur, too many things happen during tis pregnancy. some are good, while others are too bad to be swallowed. it taught me a lot about life, picking up the spirit where i left it off yearssss back. in the end, it all comes back to me. alhamdulillah..

quoting, my friend once said; musibah tu ada cara yang aneh untuk bertukar menjadi rahmat. maka, berbaik sangkalah dengan Allah. Allahu, what a positive-thinker! hurdles have a very unique, if not weird way in changing into a blessing. thus, one should always think positively towards Allah and all His qada' and qadar.

alhamdulillah, isaac is growing healthily. being loved by everyone in the surrounding, getting smarter each and every second of the day. sorry mama is too busy with work, sayang. i'll try to make up to that soon ='(

work is... work. it never stops. being a bad time manager myself, tardiness is my main issue since forevaaah.

isaac's baby brother/sister is on the way..! i'm having gdm (yay!!) and hope i can go into labour soon. i can't wait to see this little guy/girl! hihi =)

family is getting larger, insyaAllah. my sis is getting married in few months time. may Allah protect the relationship. my soon b-i-l seems like a good young guy. it's just that my sis.. she is soooo freaking messed-up.

all in all, i rest my case. i should retreat, getting hungry already.

p/s: baby, please be nice. mama wants to sleep already, stop playing and kicking ya sayang. let us continue tomorrow. mama promise u, mama will drink more water tomorrow. be a good child, be an asset to Islam. mama, abah, abang long n everyone love u. see u soon sayang =)

The Beauty of Language in Dakwah

bismillah..

The Grand Opening Ceremony

On September 11, my Sem. 4 students successfully conducted an event called Language Day. It was a hard work of 15 becoming 12 students being beautifully translated into a successful event. Alhamdulillah. Even though it was a graded assignment, they managed to survive somehow, towards the end. Lucky me, it went - well, no, even better - than my expectation. Syukur, syukur, syukur..

Lucky 'Lucky Draw' winner

The attendance of our VIP guests, Coach Ridz and Coach Sha really liven up the whole event. They are both really professional and they conducted the event well. The brilliant thing about it was the arrival of the infamous Ustaz Don, the celebrity ustaz of KUIS to watch our show. Although it was just a short presence, I’m glad that people came and show their support to my students busting their asses making this event doable. 

All in all, dakwah is not about making things complicated. Inviting people to do good is already a dakwah. Showing good example is also dakwah. It’s not hard, really. I gained many new insights from supervising this event. Of course, I need to thank them for the wonderful gimmick and surprise cake post-event.I'm going to miss them soon as they'll go out for practicum and eventually graduate.

Nonetheless, congrats and a thunderous claps to these strong-willed people. Me proud of ya'll =DD

studying abroad?

bismillah..

it's such fun to see my cousin (my husband's) studying in a foreign country.
i have that dream too.
i want to study in a foreign country, where there's no relatives but my husband n son only.

my, my.. what a dream.
it's hard, but not impossible.
yes, i can do it.
i'll see to it.

to some, studying in malaysia is a lot better than being abroad.
to make it worthwhile, just be happy with what we have.
others are coming to studying here, we are looking for opportunities elsewhere nonetheless

to me, it's a freedom of choice.
u can go whereever whenever u want.
as long as Allah be by your side, there's not a mountain too high to climb.

susah, tapi tak mustahil - Teacher Nor Jihah Abd Aziz, 1991.

see u in 3 years, U.K.